Everyone has it, emotional baggage that’s haunts us all. We carry it on our backs; drag it everywhere along with us, the weight of it heavy behind us. It’s that constant reminder of our past that makes us fearful of our future.
She carries the baggage of hating her father as a girl making her grow up to be a woman who believes that every man is just as lousy as he was.
He totes around baggage of being hurt. He acts emotionless, fearing that in the end she will hurt him. He becomes detached and pretends to be a dick as a way to cover up all the hurt inside he tries to conceal.
She tries to hide the huge knapsack of emotional weight she has from being insecure. The feeling that she is so flawed that no one out there will ever possibly believe her to be good enough.
It is all this emotional baggage that we pack throughout the years that sabotage relationships now. We try to hide our baggage. Under the bed, the top shelf in your closet, where ever it can be out of sight from that new person you’re dating. But it always comes out, finds its way behind you. It taps you on your shoulder begging to be surfaced.
Not only do we all have emotional baggage that we try to hide as best as we can from our partners, we try our darnest to figure out their hidden baggage. We play detective. Ask questions about the past; try to dig deep for clues to find out if the weight of the baggage is worth the effort of building a relationship.
And it’s exhausting.
Everyone has baggage. The “How I met your mother” episode, “The Wedding Bride,” reminded me this. Ted was trying so hard to figure out his date’s baggage that he’s surfaced instead.
Hiding our baggage and trying to pickpocket the TSA key to your partner’s shouldn’t be a part of dating. Reality is: everyone has it. So why not be upfront about it? You know eventually it’ll come up. What does matter: finding someone to help you make your baggage seem not so heavy anymore. Like almost anything in life, it’s easier when you have someone who will give you a hand.
If you share your baggage up front, lay that suitcase on the floor allowing them to peek inside, the faster you see if they make the cut. They look in, get a feel around but won’t help you lift that bag up, well the easier than it is to say goodbye. But if they do, they help you take on that weight—they really want to help you so you don’t have to carry it anymore—well then it’s that the result you were searching for all along? Why not be upfront and get to that point faster?
Accept baggage, yours and theirs. I know at times it can be heavy but just know one day, you’ll find that one who can take the weight off.
Perfectly Lonely 
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