Surrounded by “I do”s February 5, 2010

Perfectly Lonely by John Mayer

NOTE: I believe music sets a tone. Therefore with each blog I will attach a song that compliments my blog. So what better song for my first blog then the one that inspired its name.

My first blog, hmm, I feel like this is going to be a lovely commitment. The only one in my life for a while. Little background on me for you, I have never been in love and have never had a successful long-term relationship. Maybe I’m inadequate for relationships. For the longest time I have always been that friend at dinner that picks up her own check while the rest of the party is coupled together. All my friends have someone, always. If that isn’t hard enough, my job constantly reminds me of my solitary. I work at a bridal shop and everyday I help girls, barely older than me pick out the details of their wedding. Essentially I help them get closer to their perfect happily-ever-after day, while realizing how far away that day is for me. I think about marriage a lot. But my mom assures me I have time. Many would argue the trend of our generation is to hold off getting married until later in life. But in reality I feel like it is just the opposite with our generation. I see people my age returning to tendencies of earlier times where marriage was the next step after graduation. Today the pressure of getting married young is more prevalent than ever. Modern movies have women believing that their lives won’t truly start until they find the one that is to be their husband. Only then is when they can really be happy and satisfied with life. Girls grow up with the notion that they will go to college, land a good job, get married and start a family. And this is a successful life. The quicker one can get there the better too. When that doesn’t happen as planned it tends to send girls like me into a panic. What if this will never happen for me? I want to believe that I can graduate, concentrate on finding a keen job, all without worrying about trying to find love on top of that, but is that a fantasy? What if I wake up at 28 alone and bitter? Cursing myself for not trying harder at 22. I think a website called beliefnet.com explained my hardships best. They said, Dating has become an end in itself, and it is very harmful to singles. The process is degrading and designed to heighten insecurity. One learns not to open one’s heart to the opposite sex, but to close it. And then we wonder why, by the time these messed-up singles get married, divorce is so common.” On one hand I love what this quote is saying, and then again I hate it all the same. I agree dating can wear you out. But will attempting to find my prince through the swarm of losers make me non-marriage material? I don’t know. What do you guys think? Are more people of our generation getting married younger? Is the pressure of having a serious relationship a problem of today? Am I just freaking out?

For more information about marrying young check out:

http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Relationships/2006/12/Too-Young-To-Marry.aspx