There is one thing that has lit the fire under my bum to rush into finding a relationship fast. I know, I know. My past blogs have all been about not worrying about finding that perfect match, to enjoy yourself and take time to fully live life, but there is just this one exclusion that I long to have so bad, that at times I just want to throw in my single-white-flag and shout “Can this just happen already!” That thing is babies. I WANT BABIES! Yes, I know, I am only twenty and some would say that wanting a child at such a young age is preposterous. But have you ever known there was that one thing in life you were meant to be or do? Well for me, I believe I was born to be a mom. I cannot wait until that day. But although I want a baby bad, I realize that I am missing something pretty darn important in this equation. A man. But how important is that really? Although it would be ideal to fall in love with someone and have a child with him or her, to me it’s not so imperative. I know it takes one egg and one sperm to make a child, but do you really need both to raise one? 
Okay you are judging me. But when I picture my future, my kids, it is hard for me to envision a man standing next to me fulfilling the role as dad. Maybe it is because I grew up with such a shitty example of one, (blood wise of course. My step dad has done a good job), maybe its because I am lacking in the experience of being in love, or maybe I am just making excuses. For whatever reason I see girls out there bringing up their children alone, and I envy them. Calm down Mom, I am not planning on having any children anytime soon. It’s just a wish I have. One I know will happen one day, but for today I will daydream about the possibilities. The possibility of science figuring out a way to reconfigure my eggs to make a baby sperm free. No male component could be the best baby in the world. Just kidding of course. Don’t take this post the wrong way. I don’t hate men; I appreciate them and know that there are some amazing fathers out there. I just don’t know if I will find one in time to carry out my dream of having 8 children. Or that I even would want to share my parenting role with someone else. This is my view now, and I am sure that by the time I do have children it will change. But am I crazy? Are there others out there feeling the same way as me or can understand where I am coming from? Leave comments, help me ease my mind. Everything’ll Be Alright (Will’s Lullaby)- Joshua Radin
Perfectly Lonely 
We’re tooooo young for kids lol. I get that it can be done, but wouldn’t you want to experience more of life before you have a child. Having a child is it. You’re done after that. That child is your life until they leave your nest. I think I could make a good father but in no way at 22 am I ready for that kind of responsibility. Granted my parents had me young, but it was rocky when I was a kid. I had young parents who did young parent things. They were the best to me and I wouldn’t trade it for the world but I can only imagine how well they could’ve done at 25 instead of 20. So slow it down. There’s plenty of time for your, I believe it was 8 children you claimed to want lol.
You are right earles. And you make good points, about your own childhood and parents. I guess my mom waited a little bit before she had me and i dont think of her being too terrible old, and I mean we are pretty good friends and everything. I’ll just have to be one of those hip cool moms, even if i am 90 cuz i had to wait so long lol.
Eight children? Hell, I am an ocho and I can’t even Handle myself.
I feel like this is a good topic. I wanted a kid. Bad. I constantly tried changing someones mind so they would agree and want to have children.
The more I think of it, I’d rather plan to never have children, that way when the day comes, I can be really extra suprised and say “this is what I always wanted!” and be able to entertain the idea of being a parent, without all the heeby geebies. I figure not planning is a good way to keep my mind off of searching for the mother of my children. Cause we all know that she’s not out there.(I really know there is someone out there, but this is part of my ‘don’t plan’ technique)
I guess i just like suprises.
Yes, eight children but let me clarify. I would like to BIRTH 4 children and then later ADOPT 4 more. Does that make it less crazy? lol
I like your theory. I often heard of a similar one regarding a test. If you plan to fail, then you are pleasantly pleased with any grade above an F, but if you try and try for that A then you are disappointed when you receive anything less. I don’t know if its a good one or not, and how well it works but hey, its worth a shot.
I like your plan to not plan. Surprises are always good (weird to say considering we are talking about babies in this post lol)
and im sure the wife of your children is not out there. ;D
I would never be able to handle 8 kids. Two or three is plenty. I really admire you for wanting to adopt. There are so many children out there who need good homes.
I don’t think I agree with this expecting the worst theory though. You don’t really want to get up every morning and tell yourself “I’m never going to have kids.” You should be hopeful.
I was always taught that you will never do better than you think you can. To use the test analogy, if you think you’re going to fail, you probably will. But if you tell yourself that you can get that A or that you will have lots of little ones running around one day then you have a much better chance at making that a reality.
So, Miss Jami… I know we chatted about this the other day. I knew in my psychology class I’d heard that there is research being done in order to fertilize an egg without a male sperm. I found an article related to this same information and I thought I’d share it with you.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4227604
[I guess one of the leading researchers in regards to egg fertilization without male sperm is AUSTRALIAN!]
I think once you get that degree, the comfy job and you’re stable… DO IT! haha! I can’t blame you at all though for feeling like this and I bet there are a lot more girls out there that share these feelings, but are embarrassed. Props to you for putting it out there! Love you, girl!
Ah that is sweet as abby!
And looks like I have another excuse to go back to that side of the world, lol. OR id just find some hunk there and would be okay with taking his sperm JUST KIDDING, maybe ;D.
I don’t think there is ANYTHING wrong with feeling that you are meant to be a mom. I think you would be an incredible mom! And I think that if you want a ton of kids, then you will be able to handle them!
But find a man first 🙂 Haha
eh a man is not needed, well he is but you know what i mean.
There’s nothing wrong with knowing you’re meant to be a mom – but be sure you’re doing it for the right reasons, and I would definitely advise to wait until you’re out of college and financially stable. Plus, you never know – your future husband, the one you’ll want to have kids with, could be right around the corner.
You’re right, it is def something that I could not handle on my plate right now, or even years from now. But sometimes I fantasize about it and see girls from my high school having children and its probably the only reason I get really freaked about not finding someone “in time” but I suppose I just need to do some babysitting. Hang around some naughty kids and then I will admire my freedom of being young again.
Not gonna lie, but I totally agree with you–100 percent. I ooh and ah at the sight of kids and am also single. I’ve convinced myself that if it eventually comes to the point where I am still alone, then I’ll have a kid by myself and be a better single parent than most two-some couples I know today. Love the post.
Ah good! Clara, I am glad there is someone else out there like me! And you are right and I agree with you 100% if i get to that point in life where I am financially stable, and I have accomplished most of the things I hoped to do out of college, and still there isn’t a man in my life and I still have the desire to have children, Im gonna have them! Who says that I need to have or find a man in order to have something that I have wanted my whole life? Nonsense. Sure if I find him by then, all the better, if not, screw it.
I have totally felt this way before too, Jami. And don’t worry, you are definitely not alone or crazy. I’m that weirdo that was secretly jealous of the girl in my senior class who got pregnant. Not that I wanted a kid instead of going to college, because I would have been terrified, but I realized how badly I want kids. But anyways, this post made me think about how much societal norms have changed when it comes to kid-rearing. Single parents are everywhere–it’s not taboo. While gay parents are still perhaps a little uncommon and not as widely accepted, that’s changing too. It’s reasonable to consider sperm donors and surrogates too. The definition of family is changing, and I think that’s good news.
Wow. I never knew someone felt the same way I did!
I know I am too young now, but I do want a child someday. I have never had dreams of a grand wedding with the perfect man or woman but instead just want kids. Sure, if the right person comes along-that’s great! But I have always known if I don’t get married I will adopt at least one child.
Great post!
While I am not trying to have a kid anytime soon, I did find myself looking forward to the day I will be a mom – especially after doing the parents.com story…I blame Inman. Also, my favorite movie is Baby Mama. Enough said.
I do not think you are crazy either. But I am the complete opposite. I think one of the most important things we can do as people is nurture and raise kids, but for me…at least at this point in my life I cannot imagine having my own.
Every week I teach virtue classes to kids in a neighborhood where we talk about concepts like kindness, forgiveness and respect. The kids are sooo effing adorable. I love running around with them and listening to their stories. I think I am better suited to always working with kids and being the “aunt” type figure in kids lives. Who wants to go out for ice cream??